Good Old Fashioned Advice, Love and Marriage, Uncategorized


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When This


Turns Into This


What was once a feeling of, “Movin’ On Up,” when your man asked you to take the next ‘big step’ in the relationship by moving in together, but ‘That Lovin’ Feelin’, now has you singing a tune more like, ‘Move It On Down The Road.’ If you don’t know where to begin, fear not, we have all been there before, and are some helpful tips to get you back on track in no time!

When your dreams turn into a holy nightmare and things are going downhill, cut your losses and download PadMapper ASAP!  Here are five ways to ‘Hit The Road Jack’ that will make you “Happpppyyyy,….like a room without a roof,” or just a different roof!

#1 The Heart Will Fail You Every Time

So, moving in with your significant other has not turned out to be the blissful spousal paradise you both had envisioned. You’ve both recovered from the actual move itself, so you can no longer blame your irreconcilable differences on physical exhaustion and you realize, it is time to face the music.  My advice is to pull up one of your makeshift chairs (cardboard moving boxes) and think this one through. Leave your stupid crazy heart out of this one, because after all, that is what got you here in the first place.  So, when it comes to examining ‘what condition your condition is in,’ If you cannot logically come up with five really really good reasons to stay, then you need to leave.

#2  Confront The Problem

Gut up, and tell him your decision. You do not have to have your plan all worked out, just know what you do and don’t want, and make it clear that you have made your decision.  He may beg you to stay, or most likely, he will be relieved, and help you pack, which will likely make you want to either strangle him with the plastic pack wrap, but please, refrain.  After all, you are moving on! Where? You do not know. When? Well, that is yet to be determined and at the mercy of the cheapest movers you can hire, but all of this WILL in time work itself out! Just ‘Gotta Have Faith!’  You can check out my article here to find the best movers and packing tips.

#3  Use Your Connections to Help You Disconnect

If ever there was a time to use your social networks and connections, it is now.  Facebook blast a request to a tailored list of friends asking if anyone knows of apartments becoming available soon and/or jobs, depending on the severity of your situation.  The best way to get reconnected into your world and to disconnect from the current one you are in is through friends you trust. Use those trusted contacts! Now, also, use the contacts you don’t know so you can get a grasp of what the market looks like right now and how difficult it is going to be to find a new place. Use resources like Craigslist, Westside RentalsZillow, Trulia, and my favorite resource, Padmapper!

#4  Take Back Your Security…Deposit, That Is

Depending on the lease you have signed and whether or not you have signed it as a Tenant, Co-Tenant, or Occupant, you may actually have a little bit of wiggle room.  Hopefully, you did not list yourself as a Co-Tenant but rather an Occupant, forfeiting any financial responsibility.  But, if you’re on the financial ‘hook’, call the landlord to explain the situation, and let them know you really have to get out of the lease and will be happy to find another individual to take over your lease. Find out what your options are, and hopefully, your man is not a total jerk, and will be willing to either take over the lease completely, move out as well, or is willing to share the place with a creditworthy tenant who has the worst body odor ever and signs the lease via DocuSign! With some luck, your ex is greeted with his new roommate’s body odor first- surprise!

#5   Learn From Your Mistakes and Don’t Go Breaking Your Heart Again!

Lesson learned. Maybe you are not the ‘cool’ girl, willing to play house before he has fully committed to being your “Full-Time Lover.”  If you are not ready to sacrifice morals, or discover you both have irreconcilable differences three weeks in, then the next time that ‘Big Step’ is offered you can tell him to step off because unless he is interested in “Going to the Chapel” you aren’t going to be making any ‘big moves’ again! No Sir! He can just ‘Walk on By.’


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